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Chris Kelly’s “Too Many Cooks”

A horrific masterpiece. I only wish that I had discovered it by accident at 4am while channel surfing stoned — as it was intended.

Yo Gabba Gabba’s Deep Dark Secret

I was recently tasked with babysitting a 2 year-old. It was already getting late in the evening and her bedtime wasn’t far off. I was told that if I popped on some Yo Gabba Gabba, she’d be out in a…

It’s Official: “Boom, Roasted!” Is the Best Thing to Say After Insulting Someone

In Abuse of Discretion’s latest audience poll, we asked our readers what the best thing is to say after insulting someone. Surely, anyone who visits this site is a frequent insulter of others, so the answers to this poll are particularly reliable.

It’s Official: Seinfeld Is the Best Show Ever

At long last, our most recent audience poll has come to a close.  In this, Abuse of Discretion‘s first somewhat-serious poll, we asked for your favorite among four popular television shows.  This poll had more voters than any previous poll,…

Internet Rundown: March 14, 2011

Check out this gangsta rap about the Christian side hug.  It will be the weirdest thing you see today.  For the lyrics of this hit single, go here. Don’t you wish you lived in this county?  It’s right next to…

Conan O’Brien’s Cold Openings

No, I’m not talking about his chilly Irish orifices. That’s gross. A “cold open,” in television, is the strategy of jumping right into a story before the title sequence or opening credits of the show. If you can recall the…

It’s Official: Alex Trebek Should Suck It

Although last week’s audience poll was a bit more divisive than previous polls, a clear plurality of Abuse of Discretion readers decided that Jeopardy!‘s Watson incident means only that Sean Connery is awesome and Alex Trebek sucks.  The results of…

I Am One Hundred and Ten Percent Sure that This Is the Stupidest Sentence You Will Read All Day

Let’s stop using the expression “one hundred and [n additional amount] percent,” all right? Let’s stop saying things like, “I’m a hundred and fifty percent sure that my boyfriend is cheating on me,” and, “Though they lost, the baseball team…

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