Abuse of Discretion | Triviality, Misanthropy, and Swearing

Guy’s Graphical Guide to Purchasing a Car

By Manzoni's Requiem Sep. 2nd, 2011

Looking for a new car? Feel as you car should be an extension of your personality? Well go no further. This simple chart will be your guide to the dream car of your, well, dreams. This guide is an introduction to further car guides that will go into more extensive detail covering armrests, size of cup holders, turn turn signal clicker noise and the ability to maintain control during an unforeseen sneeze

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Manzoni's Requiem

The Evolution of Rap Names

By Global Sponge Aug. 29th, 2011

Pop Chart Lab has posted the Grand Taxonomy of Rap Names for purchase. This 18 X 24 poster is perfect for those of you who have always wondered what the full list of rap names that have a physical or metaphysical attribute would be. Not that deep? Well luckily this…

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Global Sponge

Fuck you.

Mini Skirt Showdown

By Dingus Aug. 18th, 2011

I’d love to see Don Draper come up with a 1960s version of this commercial in Mad Men.

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Dingus

Here's a doohickey -- and there's the dingus.

This Guy Is Really Good At Riding Bikes

By Prof. Eldstar Aug. 17th, 2011

Danny MacAskill is really good at riding bikes but this video is also really cool because of the way it is shot. I like to imagine that he is the grown up version of the excited little boy who learned…

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Prof. Eldstar

“He's an old Star Spirit. His name is Eldstar. He reminds me of my grandpa. He's a revered person who lives in Star Haven, way up beyond the sky. Uh...a revered star, I mean. I wonder why he's here. He should be in Star Haven. And why does he look so... dim? I can see right through him.”

My Drunk Kitchen

By Prof. Eldstar Aug. 17th, 2011

Have you ever wanted to learn how to cook… while drunk? Behold! The solution to your inebriated hunger pains, My Drunk Kitchen!

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Prof. Eldstar

“He's an old Star Spirit. His name is Eldstar. He reminds me of my grandpa. He's a revered person who lives in Star Haven, way up beyond the sky. Uh...a revered star, I mean. I wonder why he's here. He should be in Star Haven. And why does he look so... dim? I can see right through him.”

Internet Rundown: August 12, 2011

By Kafka, Esq. Aug. 12th, 2011

In this Internet Rundown, we talk about law, computers, and real estate. I know it sounds drab, but we’ve mixed in news about zombies and dinosaurs.

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Kafka, Esq.

Kafkaesque: characteristic or reminiscent of the nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or oppressive qualities of Franz Kafka's writings.

Slowmotion Cupcake Cannon!

By Dingus Aug. 9th, 2011

You know what’s awesome? High-speed cameras. I mean, who doesn’t like watching someone get slapped in the face at 700 fps? But you know what would look even cooler?! Cupcakes. Shot out of a cannon.

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Dingus

Here's a doohickey -- and there's the dingus.

Internet Rundown: August 3, 2011

By Kafka, Esq. Aug. 3rd, 2011

In this Internet Rundown, we tackle tired dogs, adulthood, and porcupettes. Read on!

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Kafka, Esq.

Kafkaesque: characteristic or reminiscent of the nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or oppressive qualities of Franz Kafka's writings.

Stores that Accept Cash Only: Fuck That

By Kafka, Esq. Aug. 1st, 2011

Apparently, there are still stores and shops that have “cash only” policies, meaning they accept only cash in exchange for their wares. This is crap.

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Kafka, Esq.

Kafkaesque: characteristic or reminiscent of the nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or oppressive qualities of Franz Kafka's writings.

A Pie for All Seasons

By Manzoni's Requiem Jul. 29th, 2011

Last holiday season I come across a website extolling this new holiday pie from McDonald’s. I rush out to my local golden arches to try this new seasonal pie for myself. Let me describe as so, a funfetti looking undercooked crust with a less than flavorful vanilla custard filling. Despite my disappointment I felt maybe all my pie dreaming was creating a ripple in the hand pie multiverse.

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