Lawyer Hires Assistant with Questionable Name

Myra C. Selby, Michigan Law School grad, former associate justice of the Indiana Supreme Court, current partner at IceMiller LLP, and below average skills in choosing assistants.

The showman part of me would say, “Do you see anything unusual on this ostensibly normal lawyer’s bio?” But it’s Friday and puzzles are for rainy days during recess and old people that have nothing better to do but endlessly play Sudoku and crosswords.

So, just look at her assistant’s name.

She holds a secret that can be concealed by only a combo of a pantsuit and shorthair

A few explanations: Maybe she’s a Native American warrior; I know a guy named Mark, but his Indian (feather, not dot) name is Little Dancing Turkey. Maybe she’s from sub-Saharan Africa and this is her Zulu warrior name designed to scare off British imperialists and rival law firms. Maybe she lost an elaborate bet. Maybe her parents were hippies of the non-peaceful variety.

Tell me some of your explanations/theories as to this assistant’s name.

If you think this is doctored in some way, here is the link: http://www.icemiller.com/lawyer_detail/id/882/index.aspx

Also, this post could not be possible without the dedication and spunk of Global Sponge.

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comments 12 Responses

  • If she wanted to scare off rival law firms, she wouldn’t have stopped at “a Hundred.”

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    • Yes, if she was in BigLaw the name would be “Kills a Million…puppies”

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  • I would expect this sort of thing from a U Mich grad, but not from a Kalamazoo College grad. For shame.

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    • That’s a B.A. from Kalamazoo. Probably a theater major. That would explain her flair for the dramatic.

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  • I think she’s Native American. Google the name – there is actually many members of the Killsahundred family, all of whom are in the range of where . No clue of the etymology of it, but seems most of the family live in places where the remaining people of American Indian descent live.

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  • Real name. See http://www.american-tribes.com/Lakota/BIO/Kills-a-Hundred.htm. There are many such names in Indian Country. I know Tenkiller, Sixkiller (including former NFL quarterback Sonny Sixkiller), Pathkiller, Kills the Enemy, Holds the Enemy, etc. Facebook sometimes disallows people with these names from setting up profiles. See http://diverseeducation.com/article/12226/

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  • This is almost certainly a real name. Ethnocentric much?

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  • ” . . . below average skills in choosing assistants.” Seriously? Because the assistant has a fairly common Native-American last name she must be a poor choice? That’s insane.

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    • I disagree. A lot of unfair and intolerant people probably wouldn’t hire a lawyer with a wacky-named assistant when there are so many other lawyers out there. Though we might not WANT people to discriminate based on names in this way, people nevertheless DO. (And it doesn’t matter that the name is “fairly common” among Native Americans–it is not fairly common among most other Americans, and thus draws attention.) So to the extent the lawyer loses business for the name, she is open to criticism for having made a poor business decision. I know, I know, money isn’t everthing; but that doesn’t make the otherwise reasonable criticism “insane.”

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  • Wonderful article, I actually expect updates from you.

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  • http://www.obt.com/m-williams.html

    “MarJuana Williams” — attorney at a firm in Beaumont, TX.

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