Internet Rundown: April 21, 2011

This settles it—I’m getting a penguin. 

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Does anyone else think this list of America’s most stressful jobs is missing a few?  I’m looking at you, overly-worked doctors and stressed-the-fuck-out lawyers.  [CNBC]

I refuse to acknowledge Donald Trump as a presidential contender.  I’ll gladly acknowledge, however, that The Donald has a totally weird-looking hair situation.  [Vanity Fair]

The color-coded terror alert system is now a thing of the past.  The five-category system is being replaced with an equally vague and chaffy two-category system.  [Newser]

Going out tonight?  Be sure to brush up on your funky chicken dance moves with James Brown. 

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